“Dad. You got a sec.” Charleen asked.
Alan put down the soldering iron and looked up.
Charleen laughed at the funny sight of her dad with his magnifying-glass hood on and
hair sticking out the sides.
Alan took off the hood. “Don’t see as good as I used to.” Alan remembered back to his youth when he could identify a plane at thirty thousand feet, now he can barely see a circuit board.
“I don’t want you to overreact or get mad, it’s not about me.” Charleen said.
Now Alan had her full attention. “Go ahead.”
“Well.” She paused. “There’s this guy.”
Alan instantly didn’t like this conversation.
Charleen saw that her dad had shifted in his chair. His full attention was on her. “It’s not about me.” She clambered, “But, Becky. You know Becky?”
Alan shook his head yes.
“Well. She.” Charleen didn’t want to move on.
“She likes a boy?” Alan prompted.
“Well it’s more like he likes her. I think.” Charleen said.
“So.”
“Well they’ve been dating, like a week. And now he wants her. To sleep with him.” Charleen stated.
“Okay, what?” Alan back stiffened.
“I think it’s…”
“It’s what?”
“Okay. Don’t go all Head Elder on him…” Charleen hesitated.
“Is this something I need to know?” Alan asked, “Not as a dad? Or as a dad.”
“I’m not sure.” Charleen was conflicted.
“Honey. If it’s going to hurt this community, then I need to act in my official capacity. But if it’s something personal, then it will stay between you and me.” Alan assured her.
“You know how rumors are?” Charleen asked.
“Are you sure you want to be talking to me? Maybe your mom would be better.” Alan was not sure he wanted to know because if he didn’t like what came next, and it threatened the stability of the colony, then he was going to act according to his position and not necessarily as a father.”
“No.” Charleen stated.
“So. Becky has a boyfriend that is pressuring her to sleep with him.” Alan recapped.
“Yeah.” Charleen looked away.
“You don’t like this boy?” Alan asked.
“Well, I don’t dislike him.” Charleen stated.
“But..”
“Okay, it’s like this. There used to be a girl. In my class. She isn’t there any more. And they…dated. Last year. I think.” Charleen stammered through her thoughts.
“Okay”
“Well. Rumor has it she’s pregnant.” Charleen said.
The hair on Alan’s neck stood up.
“And. Then another girl. I think her name was Clair. Said that he broke up with her because she wouldn’t.” Charleen said.
“But you don’t know Clair?”
Charleen shook her head “No”
“How old is Clair?” Alan asked.
“I don’t know, but I think she’s in the eighth grade.” Charleen stated.
“But Becky is in her first year as an apprentice, right?” Alan asked. “So she’s seventeen?”
“She’s actually sixteen, almost seventeen.” Charleen corrected.
“How old is this boy?” Alan asked sharply.
“He’s in his second year apprenticeship, so maybe eighteen, nineteen.” Charleen surmised.
“And he was hitting on a thirteen year old girl?” Alan was getting angry.
“I think. It’s just a rumor.” Charleen said.
“Okay.” Alan took two deep breaths. He looked at his daughter. She looked concerned for what he would do. “Okay.” Two more breaths.
Charleen repeated, “It's only a rumor.”
“Okay. First of all. No one should be asking for sex by the second week. That’s just selfish and reckless. There is just no way…” Alan stood. This wasn’t going the way he wanted it. Two more deep breaths. “Boys. Not a man. Want sex. No matter what their age. It’s like a… a toy.. they love to play with.” He looked at Charleen and she was mortified.
“Are you sure you don’t want to be talking to your mother?” Alan asked half hoping for a positive response.
Charleen shook her head no.
Alan needed a drink. “Let’s get some tea.”
They went to the kitchen, honestly Alan was hoping that Alison would be getting home from school and maybe he could include her in this conversation, but she was not in the house and so..While the kettle heated up, he raced through a thousand ways to say what he wanted to say about the subject and hoping his daughter would listen. The kettle's whistle broke his concentration and he poured two cups of steaming water. Then put the pine-needle tea in a metal strainer and put them in the cups. He took the cups to where Charleen was waiting.
“Okay.” Alan said then took a sip of tea.
He looked at his daughter. “I love you.”
She was about to say it back but Alan put up his hand, “I love you and many other phrases have been used by boys to get sex.” Alan looked at the front door. “Boys use love to get sex.” He looked at Charleen, “And girls use sex to get love.”
Again Charleen looked embarrassed.
“However, It takes more than an emotion to build a relationship. It takes commitment, understanding and work.” Alan looked at Charleen's eyes, “You can’t do that in a day, a week or even a year.”
“But you tell everyone how you met and married mom in a year.” Charleen protested.
“I had help.” Alan stated.
“I know. God told you.” Charleen rolled her eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes like that. It’s real. He’s real and the fact that I’ve known about things before they happen proves it.” Alan explained. “Plus your mom and I had gotten to a point in our lives where we were comfortable as singles. It wasn’t the desired outcome, but being married to the wrong person was worse. And so, when we met there wasn’t a bunch of insecure garbage going on. I left it up to her to like me and visa-versa.”
“What about love?” Charleen asked.
“That came. Just not all at once.” Alan took Charleens hand, “Your mom and I are very different people. She’s empathetic, I’m decisive and a bit of an ass, but together we create a balance. And I don’t push her to be like me. I need her to be like her so I can see things I don’t normally see and she does the same through me.”
“I don’t understand.” Charleen said.
“You know how she has an open closet and Mine is all shut up.” Alan asked.
“What does that have to do with a relationship?” Charleen asked.
“Everything. If she puts something away. It’s out of sight, out of mind. She literally can’t remember that she has it, so her stuff is all out in the open. My brain has cognitive mapping. I remember where things are. If someone moves it, I’m lost, but if it’s left where I put it, I can usually go back and get it.”
“What does that have to do with love?” Charleen asked.
“Everything. Love is not just an emotion. It’s the knowledge of how your partner works and adjusting to it. Not becoming like it, but working with it. It’s creating a world where both of us work, play, relax and enjoy each other. We share our world with each other. I see things she doesn’t and I share those things with her. She does the same for me. And never is it one over the other. We disagree often, but because the overall goal is the same, we find a way to get to our goals together, but differently.”
“That sounds confusing.” Charleen admitted.
“It is.” Alan started, “That’s why it takes work. Everyday. And I know she always does the things she does, because she loves me. And I do the same.”
Charleen looked at the door, then took a sip. Alan could tell she wanted to ask a question. “What?” Alan asked, prompting her.
“So… where does sex come in?” Charleen finally asked.
“Sex will do one of two things. It will be something you become addicted to because of the short term effects of how it makes you feel. Or when it’s too early in a relationship, it will cloud your judgment and make you accept things in your partner that you wouldn’t normally accept. And it’s these things that will eventually destroy the relationship.” Alan stated. And lastly if it’s just sex to the boy, he will move on to find something else to play with.
Alan remembered an old saying a preacher once told him, “Sex is like a lubricant. It creates an environment that keeps friction down and allows a relationship to grow. When done in love, the friction becomes less and the engine runs smoothly. If sex is just for the quick high, then friction begins to build and the engine tears itself apart.”
“How can you tell?” Charleen asked.
“Well abstinence is one of the best tests.” Alan said, “If your partner is willing to wait and still wants to work out a life with you, then there is a good possibility that it will work out. But, if all he wants is to get his jollies and leave, then he won’t be willing to do the work it takes to have a real relationship. That’s what this boy wants from Becky. Just a quick fix and off he will go.”
Charleen looked away.
“He’s not in it for the relationship. If he was, then he wouldn’t pressure her into this.” Alan then said, “He’s using her. And when he’s had his fun, he will leave her.”
A tear ran down Charleens cheek.
“What are you not telling me?” Alan asked.
“She’s with him.” Charleen said.
“Where?” Alan was now the head elder.
“There’s an old shed behind the school. Kids go there to hangout and…” Charleen said with more tears.
Alan grabbed the radio by the front door and ran out. He needed to stop this. “Mike!” he yelled into the radio. As he got into his truck, Mike came on the radio, “I’m here.”
“Get a security truck over to the school. Outback is a shed, see if anyone is in it.” Alan commanded.
“Is this a security issue?” Mike asked so he could ensure the men brought the right equipment.
“No, it’s a moral issue and someone is about to make a big mistake.” Alan stated. Thinking again if he was overreaching his boundaries. “Just have someone get there and make a bunch of noise about it.”
“Copy that.” Mike said.
Alan raced over to the Coopers. He needed to get Becky’s parents.
By the time he got there, Mike had reported back, “Two juveniles were discovered in the shed. They were clothed, but by the looks of things, it was supposed to be a romantic interlude.”
“Thanks Mke.” Alan said, “Hold them on a curfew violation.” as he knocked on Bret Cooper’s door.
A man answered.
“Mr. Cooper, where’s your daughter?” Alan asked.
“Up stairs,” he said.
“Are you sure?” Alan asked.
WIth that, Mrs. Cooper ran up the stairs. Bret stayed by the door and asked, “What is this about?”.
Alan just stood there.
A few seconds later she came running down the stairs with a frantic look on her face, “She's not there!”
Alan spoke into his radio, “Mike, do you have an identity of the youths?”
Mike responded, “Jason Copeland and Becky Cooper.”
Bret instantly said, “I’m going to kill that boy!”
Alan stepped into the doorway. “Get your coat and try to calm down.” He looked at Samantha Cooper, “You might want to come too.”
Alan spoke to his radio, “I’m bringing in the Coopers. You might want to send someone to get Mr. Copeland.”
There were two clicks indicating that the message was received.
Alan purposely drove slow to the commons. He wanted Bret to calm down, but honestly if this was my daughter It would take a week to stem his rage.
Finally Bret asked, “How did you know?”
“My daughter is Becky’s friend.”
Mrs. Cooper exclaimed, “Oh, thank God.”
When they got to the commons there was a whole lot of yelling and high emotions. Alan let it go for a few minutes. It was not good, but there was no sense in trying to calm Bret down. He needed to blow off some steam.
Alan then took him aside and said, “Stop! Now.”
Bret looked at him, “I want to see her.”
“Nothing happened.” Alan assured him.
“Once she has answered to the Elders and her consequences have been posted, she will be released to you.” Alan stated.
“Why aren’t you in there?” Bret asked.
“Because I’m involved via my daughter and that makes me unfit to judge this.” Alan said.
Bret paced back and forth in the room.
“Look. She’s going to need a man to help her through this. Not just a father. But a man that will tell her the truth.” Alan explained.
“What are you saying?” Bret asked.
“I’m saying to share with your daughter how you won Samantha over. How you dated and knew she was the one.” Alan said.
Bret looked away.
Alan waited.
“Truth is we screwed up.” Bret said.
Alan said nothing.
Bret looked at him, then looked up.
Alan then asked, “Why did you marry her?”
“Well…” Bret didn't’ say anything for a long time. Then, “We’re not. Well not officially. It just never… well. I never… Before.” Bret looked at the door.. “I do love her. And everyone just assumed. And then the world went to shit.” Bret looked at Alan.
Alan stood, Marriage is not just a piece of paper. It’s a commitment. And all I see is your commitment to her and your family. Hell, millions got a piece of paper and still left their families, their spouses. The paper didn’t make them stay. That is a decision we make every day. And if we’re blessed and we work at it, it becomes something that no one can tear apart.”
Bret nodded his head.
“Truth be known, most marriages die from the inside out.” Alan said, “But if you want to make it official, we can.”
Bret shrugged his shoulders.
“Right now, your daughter needs the truth. Good or bad. She needs to know that you care enough about her and that you understand what she’s going through. That the right man for her, will be honest with her. Strong for her. And weak or what people think of as weak. Sharing your mistakes and their consequences will give her a bigger picture in which to make decisions. I know, I’ve made my share and I know that I’m far from done making new ones. To make mistakes is human. To live up to the consequences is what makes us better than the animals.” Alan walked over to Bret and put his hand on his shoulder, “You lived up to yours. You chose to love them. Protect them. Your strength is what she needs now. Not your anger.”
Bret nodded.
“And just so you know, I didn’t do so well with my older kids, they had to live through some tough times while I learned all of this.” Alan said then turned away.
Becky was released to his parent’s custody and they left. Alan surmised that they would do just fine. Becky and her mom were crying and hugging each other. Bret just tried to stay calm and in control of this anger. He looked at Alan, but said nothing.
